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Heilige Scheiße!

July 2nd 2008 14:42
Imagine the scenario, Mercedes Benz or BMW decide to launch an all-out attack on the Australian V8 supercar series, with a challenger of there own.

They have a wide range of suitable vehicles to choose from, so what do they choose as a challenger? How about an S- class or a BMW 7 series in long wheelbase sedan form!

As scary as that may sound, it wouldn’t be the first time! The birth of the 300SEL 6.3 sedan in 1968 gave Mercedes Benz a vehicle which combined the looks and weight of an army surplus Panzer Tank and the performance of a Ferrari!




An almost standard 300SEL 6.3 raced in the six hours of Macao race in 1968. It won!

Inspired by the success of an earlier factory race car. Two former Mercedes Benz factory employees by the name of Aufrecht and Melcher had left Mercedes employ and started their own venture, by the name of AMG.

The boys were pretty impressed by the big Brunhilde but they thought they could improve on the car. So, with a little after hours help from a factory engineer and test driver by the name of Erich Waxenberger. They proceeded to build a race spec 300SEL 6.8 which pumped out a whole 313kw and had a top speed of 265kmh!

The car raced in the 1971 Spa 24 hour race. Competing with smaller cars like the Alfa Romeo GTAm and the Ford Capri RS2600, this 1635Kg ended up with a second place overall and a first in class! All in air suspended and carpeted comfort!

This was a car that made people sit up and take notice, lets face it, you can’t miss it!


The car competed in 24 hour races at Le Mans and the Nurburgring without success and eventually the introduction of a 5.0 litre engine capacity limit saw the end of the cars career.

So, can you see that S-class going through the Dipper and then rampaging down Conrod Straight all while the Driver listens to Classic FM and turns the climate control down to a comfortable 19 degrees!

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Motor manufacturers have no soul. It should come as no surprise that when a particular model is slow to sell or the market gets tough, they begin releasing “Limited Edition” vehicles. It just makes you think they are special.

These are normally dreamed up by a marketing department under severe pressure. Remember the “Greg Norman Holden Statesman” complete with a set of clubs in the boot. Perhaps you recall the Nissan Pulsar Reebok? All white with a giant set of Reebok stripes down its flanks, no free shoes though!

Some of the arrangements manufacturers have entered into are in fact, marriages made in heaven. Take the name Lotus for instance. The ability of the Lotus engineers to redefine an average vehicle into a proper driver’s car is world renowned.

The Ford Cortina Mark 1Lotus was a giant killer on the racetrack. This once asthmatic sedan had been transformed into a championship winning vehicle. Some decade’s later history repeated itself with the Vauxhall/ Opel Lotus Carlton. The European equivalent of a Holden Commodore went from being a two litre sedan in a twin turbocharged 3.6 litre supercar capable of a top speed of 176mph!

Talbot Sunbeam Lotus


Lotus also had a hand in the birth of one of the ultimate hot hatches. Pictured above is the Sunbeam Talbot Lotus. A three door hatch powered a 2.2 litre four cylinder engine, nearly double the size of the original! Chrysler used them to rally!

For every success story there are cars that the builders would prefer to forget. An Isuzu Bighorn tuned by Lotus anyone? Thought not!

Remember the Brock Commodores? You should they were the ultimate in go-faster road going Commodores in the nineteen eighties. Built under the auspices of the Holden umbrella Peter Brock performed miracles under the HDT banner.

The problem here was that Brock should have stopped at Commodores. He didn’t. Did someone mention “Cynical marketing exercises” Oh that would be the Brock Falcon and the Brock Lada Samara.

Autoloud drove a Brock Falcon at the time of its release and to drive, it was indeed a well sorted package. For a Ford!

As for the Lada, it proved that Peter was less than perfect!

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The UGLY American.

June 25th 2008 13:21
Beauty, in automotive terms, like most other things, is in the eye of the beholder.

American Motor manufacturers have plugged on for years, probably decades with a self belief in themselves that defies logic.

To the rest of the world, American designed Motor cars are mostly ugly! Sorry to be so blunt but there we are. You will note that I said most, not all are hideous, there are a few exceptions. Generally speaking the rest, are only vehicles a Mother or an American could love and they look totally out of place anywhere but the good old USA!

The American era of the good looking car stretches from the late 1920’s through to the late 1960’s.

This was a time of yearly facelifts, Chrome and fins and amazingly some new models releases were not just a simple facelift, they were completely new cars every year!

1961 Lincoln Continental


Cars such as the classic 1961 Clap-door Lincoln Continental is a vehicle now regarded as a styling icon and quite rightly so. Its lines are clean with minimal but restrained decoration. For some reason American car styling in the 1970’s became a caricature of itself, the cars became bloated, the manufacturers lost their vision. Just compare the first 1964 Ford Mustang with a 1974 Ford Mustang to see what I mean.

Fast forwarding to the present day the American industry is now offering vehicles which have world wide appeal. Both Cadillac and Chrysler are offering good looking vehicles which have a clear identity and have been accepted on world markets.

The lovely Pontiac Aztek!


Unfortunately the American companies still foist an array of nightmares onto the car buying public. They are better than they were, obviously they have to be. There are no second chances when you compete with the Japanese motor industry. One of the worst examples from recent times is the Pontiac Aztek. If you haven’t seen one, then allow me to describe it as follows: Take one poorly built Honda CRV clone, cover front and rear with about three acres of plastic and bake in a very hot oven. Allow plastic to become molten and then remove.

It took the big three (GM, Ford & Chrysler) years to work out why people bought imported cars; it took the buying public minutes. Wonder why?


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It was Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder who famously said, “The Germans are a cruel race, they have operas that last for six hours and no translatable word for fluffy!”

That may be true, but you have to admire their sense of creative engineering. This country gave us a whole range of BMW M3 and M5s, AMG, Brabus, Alpina and of course Porsche


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You can always tell when it has been a slow news week. Australian Television networks obviously seem to think that our days are so boring that they need a little spicing up. The shows that AUTOLOUD is discussing with you are those two pinnacles of Journalistic integrity (not!) known as Current Affair and Today tonight.

They are guaranteed to tell you about neighbours who fight, Councils behaving badly and my personal favourite, Lets kick the Motor industry! Both programmes are magnificent at what amount to hatchet jobs on the poor old car industry


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Despite what members of the motoring public would have you believe, the attendance of a new car release is seldom as glamorous as you may think.

Granted, if you are a Journalist, then the opportunity to live the high life comes more frequently. Bestowed as they are by the Manufacturers with rooms in five star hotels, free trips to various parts of the world and lunches prepared by a small Frenchman known as Marcel are all part of the mystique of driving new vehicles and saying (hopefully) nice things about them


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Television and the movies are a natural advertising media for Car manufacturers the world over. Big dollars now change hands to ensure the vehicles are in the spotlight as much as the actors.

Have you ever noticed the product placement of Volvos in American productions? Funny thing though, they have all lost their headrests


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Autoloud normally does not comment on the vehicles he drives. It has taken me a while but I have finally managed to drive the recently deceased Mitsubishi 380. I know it has been around for while but i never really went out of my way to drive one!


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Autoloud never ceases to be amazed by the Motor industry. Just when you think you have seen it all, then round the bend comes another surprise!

They stopped production in 1983 and if you are really keen you can have a brand new re-manufactured one


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Ever heard the name Andy Saunders?

Englishman Andy is a genuis, no other word for it really. Autoloud has admired his work for some time and once you have seen it you will agree


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