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Auto Loud - June 2008

Motor manufacturers have no soul. It should come as no surprise that when a particular model is slow to sell or the market gets tough, they begin releasing “Limited Edition” vehicles. It just makes you think they are special.

These are normally dreamed up by a marketing department under severe pressure. Remember the “Greg Norman Holden Statesman” complete with a set of clubs in the boot. Perhaps you recall the Nissan Pulsar Reebok? All white with a giant set of Reebok stripes down its flanks, no free shoes though!

Some of the arrangements manufacturers have entered into are in fact, marriages made in heaven. Take the name Lotus for instance. The ability of the Lotus engineers to redefine an average vehicle into a proper driver’s car is world renowned.


The Ford Cortina Mark 1Lotus was a giant killer on the racetrack. This once asthmatic sedan had been transformed into a championship winning vehicle. Some decade’s later history repeated itself with the Vauxhall/ Opel Lotus Carlton. The European equivalent of a Holden Commodore went from being a two litre sedan in a twin turbocharged 3.6 litre supercar capable of a top speed of 176mph!

Talbot Sunbeam Lotus


Lotus also had a hand in the birth of one of the ultimate hot hatches. Pictured above is the Sunbeam Talbot Lotus. A three door hatch powered a 2.2 litre four cylinder engine, nearly double the size of the original! Chrysler used them to rally!

For every success story there are cars that the builders would prefer to forget. An Isuzu Bighorn tuned by Lotus anyone? Thought not!


Remember the Brock Commodores? You should they were the ultimate in go-faster road going Commodores in the nineteen eighties. Built under the auspices of the Holden umbrella Peter Brock performed miracles under the HDT banner.

The problem here was that Brock should have stopped at Commodores. He didn’t. Did someone mention “Cynical marketing exercises” Oh that would be the Brock Falcon and the Brock Lada Samara.

Autoloud drove a Brock Falcon at the time of its release and to drive, it was indeed a well sorted package. For a Ford!

As for the Lada, it proved that Peter was less than perfect!

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The UGLY American.

June 25th 2008 13:21
Beauty, in automotive terms, like most other things, is in the eye of the beholder.

American Motor manufacturers have plugged on for years, probably decades with a self belief in themselves that defies logic.

To the rest of the world, American designed Motor cars are mostly ugly! Sorry to be so blunt but there we are. You will note that I said most, not all are hideous, there are a few exceptions. Generally speaking the rest, are only vehicles a Mother or an American could love and they look totally out of place anywhere but the good old USA!

The American era of the good looking car stretches from the late 1920’s through to the late 1960’s.

This was a time of yearly facelifts, Chrome and fins and amazingly some new models releases were not just a simple facelift, they were completely new cars every year!

1961 Lincoln Continental


Cars such as the classic 1961 Clap-door Lincoln Continental is a vehicle now regarded as a styling icon and quite rightly so. Its lines are clean with minimal but restrained decoration. For some reason American car styling in the 1970’s became a caricature of itself, the cars became bloated, the manufacturers lost their vision. Just compare the first 1964 Ford Mustang with a 1974 Ford Mustang to see what I mean.

Fast forwarding to the present day the American industry is now offering vehicles which have world wide appeal. Both Cadillac and Chrysler are offering good looking vehicles which have a clear identity and have been accepted on world markets.

The lovely Pontiac Aztek!


Unfortunately the American companies still foist an array of nightmares onto the car buying public. They are better than they were, obviously they have to be. There are no second chances when you compete with the Japanese motor industry. One of the worst examples from recent times is the Pontiac Aztek. If you haven’t seen one, then allow me to describe it as follows: Take one poorly built Honda CRV clone, cover front and rear with about three acres of plastic and bake in a very hot oven. Allow plastic to become molten and then remove.

It took the big three (GM, Ford & Chrysler) years to work out why people bought imported cars; it took the buying public minutes. Wonder why?


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It was Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder who famously said, “The Germans are a cruel race, they have operas that last for six hours and no translatable word for fluffy!”

That may be true, but you have to admire their sense of creative engineering. This country gave us a whole range of BMW M3 and M5s, AMG, Brabus, Alpina and of course Porsche.

These are the known quantities; the little known ones are as varied as they are inspired.
A firm deep inside the Fatherland will (If you have enough Euros!) convert your classic Ponton or 1960s Mercedes to full modern Mercedes Benz running gear. There are also companies who will convert your 993 Porsche to a more than passable RS replica complete with skinny chrome bumpers and Cookie cutter Wheels.

Taking all of this into consideration, it should come as no surprise when Autoloud tells you
about the Bavarian built Bell Aurens Longnose.



Born out of the creative minds of two German Land-Rover enthusiasts, the Longnose is a Landrover 109” wagon, which has been fashioned into a modern interpretation of an off-road sports car circa 1930.

The prototype is classic in appearance with a long bonnet and a short tail, where you have the option of a standard rear or a sloping tail. The fold–down screen and spare wheel stored on the back panel captures the era perfectly.

There has been no sacrifice in off-road performance as it features standard Landrover suspension, low ratio and centrally locking differentials. As you can expect from the land of Autobahns you can also have your choice of a 4.6 litreV8 or a V12.

Hand built with a price tag of 100,000 Euros, each Longnose will be individually built to customer specification.

Imagine that in Zebra Stripes!
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You can always tell when it has been a slow news week. Australian Television networks obviously seem to think that our days are so boring that they need a little spicing up. The shows that AUTOLOUD is discussing with you are those two pinnacles of Journalistic integrity (not!) known as Current Affair and Today tonight.

They are guaranteed to tell you about neighbours who fight, Councils behaving badly and my personal favourite, Lets kick the Motor industry! Both programmes are magnificent at what amount to hatchet jobs on the poor old car industry


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Despite what members of the motoring public would have you believe, the attendance of a new car release is seldom as glamorous as you may think.

Granted, if you are a Journalist, then the opportunity to live the high life comes more frequently. Bestowed as they are by the Manufacturers with rooms in five star hotels, free trips to various parts of the world and lunches prepared by a small Frenchman known as Marcel are all part of the mystique of driving new vehicles and saying (hopefully) nice things about them


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Television and the movies are a natural advertising media for Car manufacturers the world over. Big dollars now change hands to ensure the vehicles are in the spotlight as much as the actors.

Have you ever noticed the product placement of Volvos in American productions? Funny thing though, they have all lost their headrests


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Autoloud normally does not comment on the vehicles he drives. It has taken me a while but I have finally managed to drive the recently deceased Mitsubishi 380. I know it has been around for while but i never really went out of my way to drive one!


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Autoloud never ceases to be amazed by the Motor industry. Just when you think you have seen it all, then round the bend comes another surprise!

They stopped production in 1983 and if you are really keen you can have a brand new re-manufactured one


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